April 2, 2020: World’s Bossiest Prayer Request -

This happened in a private Facebook Group to which I belong, so, just to bring the rest of you up to speed, you missed the world’s bossiest prayer request.*

(If you have read my posts for the past forever, you know I sing in a church choir, and I apologize if the word “church” sent ice water down your spine. I can’t help that, but for whatever it is worth, I belong to a very liberal church full of English majors and theater kids and artists and musicians and college professors and justice workers and LOTS of refugees from other churches that are less liberal. We have gay people and women in leadership roles. Nobody cares if I say, “It’s a METAPHOR,” and our Dean, Nathan - every time he gives the greeting bit - says, “We don’t care what you believe or don’t believe; we’re just glad you are here.” Plus the music is really spectacular. I kid you not.)

Anyway, at the depth of my sickness, I realized that I had this amazing community I could call upon for support, if only I could bring myself to admit I was sick. (I was having a lot of trouble with Shame and Stigma, not wanting to whine because I wasn’t even a confirmed NCOVID-19 case, feeling enormous guilt that I might have exposed people, not knowing anyone else who was admitting to being sick. Cast your mind back two weeks.) Finally I realized if I couldn’t come out as sick to these people, there wasn’t anybody I could come out to. So I posted the world’s bossiest prayer request.

Basically I said I was sick and I needed support, and if my fellow church members wanted to send support, I was going to be extremely clear about the type of support I needed. I requested that they respond with either a) “Bummer,” or, if they were feeling effusive, b) “Bummer, praying.” I specifically asked for zero questions and no tips or advice.

The response was grand, and absolutely carried me through the two worst days and one very rough night. I am eternally grateful.

I will also report that a church full of free thinkers and creatives came up with many variations on “Bummer,” and “Bummer, praying.” All variations were in the precisely right spirit, and I enjoyed them, while also enjoying the fact that almost none of these beloved people wanted to be told what to say.

My friend Mary sent me a note about how the response had been amazing. I agreed it had been wonderful indeed. She said, “I meant, you got Episcopalians to admit they pray!” I said About ten of them, maybe? She said Yeah. Meaning that was a whole lot. Good point.

*I’m wrong! I just remembered an equally bossy request. A friend sings in a non-church choir in a different state, and one of her choir buddies got deathly ill some years ago. The sick woman’s husband sent out a request to the choir that they pray for his wife, but specified they wanted anything EXCEPT Christian prayer. I believe there is a story there, and I get it, I do, a lot of unwelcoming and unloving awfulness is out there, believe me, I know.