January 9, 2021: At Least We Didn't Think about the Pandemic....

... but the pandemic was not distracted. Remember when I said it doesn't care what year it is? It doesn't care about insurrections, either. 

I focused back in on it today because Washington state is sending teachers and kids back to the classroom (at the districts' discretion), but not prioritizing teachers for vaccines. C'mon, Washington. Have a heart.

When I grew up, and we got a daily paper in print, I didn't habitually read the obits. I read the comics, and Dear Abby, and for a while the absolutely terrible advice column for teens. (What was it called? A married couple, Ellie and Walt, dispensed trite advice which boiled down to three tips.  My friends and I used to toss them back and forth in jest. One was "Talk to a trained counselor or minister." Oh, gosh. This is all going to come back to me at 2 a.m.) 

Still, if the obits were lying around, I would look at them. And when I got older, same thing, I'd look, but I'd skim to see the ages of the deceased. Roz Chast nailed me in this classic.  

I'm reading obits daily now, for many months, in the Oregon Health Authority COVID email update. Who died, in which county, and how old were they? Also, how long before they died did they test positive? 

Why am I reading these? I think it is a way of honoring them, futile and private as it may be. 89 year old man in Jefferson County, I salute you. 76 year old woman in Clackamas County, farewell.  61 year old woman - YIKES! Younger than me!

I've also started to have opinions about the time lapse between diagnosis and death, which is wrong and macabre and inexplicable. Still, diagnosed in November, dead in January is Too Long, a terrible span of suffering. And diagnosed the day before death is, somehow, Too Short. Did it hit them like a freight train, or did they deny it until it was too late? Did they get to say goodbye?

I have no idea what a "good" lag time would be. There isn't one. Not dying would be a good lag time, and not being sick long, either. I don't like that I have developed opinions about this. I am not sure reading the obits is optimal. I should probably talk to a trained counselor or minister about this.  But I won't. I was a stubborn adolescent, not interested in much advice, and it hasn't gotten better over time.