January 13, 2021: Why Can't We All Get Along, Lands' End Version -

The Lands’ End catalog came today. It began with pages of sweats, loungewear, pajamas, active wear, stretch wear, monogrammed or embroidered-with-your-name pajamas (in case what?), and pajamas winkingly described as (the quotes are theirs) “workwear.” Also, for the first time in my Lands’ End catalog years, about half the models are normally shaped, or what I believe is sometimes referred to as “plus-size.”

One page is emblazoned with these stirring words :

Make peace with your wardrobe. 

We’re not saying you should replace all of your other clothing with our ultra-comfy loungewear… but if you did, we’d understand.”

Aww.

Lands’ End would understand if we threw away all our existing clothes and just bought (Lands’ End) monogrammed pjs, aka (wink!) “workwear.” That’s so sweet.

But if we are Zooming, emailing, texting or messengering all the time, we don’t need our names embroidered onto our clothing, since we are labelled on the screen.  (Someone has already said that we will have lost our ability to recall names when the pandemic is over, what with everybody being nametagged online. Hot new item for worry – no longer being able to remember names!)

I digress.

In this time of bitter partisan division, I want it known that I’m not at war with my wardrobe. We’re friends. But I was retired before the pandemic began, so I was pretty well stocked with stretchy and comfortable items. 

Still, I am sure the marketing people at Land’s End have done their research. Either they are sending the catalog with woman-shaped models to me because they know from past purchases what size I was, and they assume I have become (even) more woman-shaped over these months, or they are sending that catalog to everybody, because we’ve all been stuck at home, with cooking and eating as our main entertainment.

I liked those models. They were very friendly-looking and unpretentious.

And while I don’t really need or want permission from Lands’ End to replace all of my clothing, and I grasp that they are hoping I’ll replace it all with their stuff, and I don’t even really love shopping, it was still an interesting fantasy, the idea of starting all over again.