September 3, 2020: Socially Awkward Space Invaders -

Kate Murphy has an article out that claims We're All Socially Awkward Now, our social skills having atrophied during these days of social distancing. 

I have no idea what she is talking about, of course. I am as interpersonally fluent as I have ever been, my social skills honed from constant negotiation with the very few people I ever see. 

Do you want to carpool? 

HELL, NO, are you kidding? With YOU, you party animal? I would be happy to see you outside, on a nice day, from maybe 20 feet away, if there's a strong wind blowing in your direction, but...  I mean, Gee, No thanks. I'm avoiding small enclosed spaces with other people these days, and I may possibly have to leave early, but thanks so much for the offer, really!

So a couple of weeks ago, I ran into a before-times yoga-class acquaintance during Old Folks Hour at my favorite grocery store, 7 in the morning. I had seen her same time, same place, maybe three months ago, and she had stood far away and told me a pandemic tale of much intense woe, really a killer story, and I had sympathized as much as I could, so I was ready for an update, and hoping things were better. I asked how she was, and she paused a long time and then said, "Enduring," and I made the little motion of a mimed hug, and she RAN FOR ME.  

This was not my desire.  

I started backpedalling down the aisle, saying No, no, I didn't mean that, and she just kept coming, and I just kept backpedalling, and it would have made a great video clip, and she was saying, "No, it's okay, I know a safe way to do this!" and I was saying, "But I don't want to!" And she was saying, "No, it's FINE!" and I was saying, "Nuh-uh, it's not fine, STOP!" all of this kindof smiling at each other maniacally, and eventually (It's OKAY! No, it's NOT OKAY with ME!), eventually, she stopped and said Oh, sorry! 

As best I could make out, she had intended to run around behind me and then have us rub shoulder blades. Clever, probably safe-ish, and yet still not on my list of Things I Want to Do. I am saving up all my safety points to be squandered in ways I see fit.

Anyway, we laughed, ha ha, and went to our separate checkout stations, and I thought That Was Strange, poor thing needs a hug, maybe I overreacted, probably, but nobody has RUN FOR ME in a long time, etc.  About four or five days later, our old yoga teacher forwarded me an email, with "I think this is for you???" in which the Woeful Yoga Classmate told the erstwhile teachher that she had run into me in the store (she got my name wrong, but CLOSE), and she had been an inadvertant space invader, and she needed to apologize.

So I wrote back and said No worries, please, it was hilarious, and she sent me some little Namaste hands in an emoji, and I did not lecture her on cultural appropriation, and that's all taken care of, and it WAS funny. I would, however, object to her use of "inadvertant." That was the least inadvertant invasion ever. 

Also, Space Invaders! HAhahaha.