November 1, 2021: Just Chuck It in the Bin -

Back in the days when she was willing to travel, my beloved mother-in-law might stay with us for a week or so. She was the easiest of guests, undemanding, chipper, game for anything. The only problem was that once she left, we had a heck of a time finding things. She is one of those clean-it-and-put-it-away types, so speedy that if you used a spoon while you were cooking, and put it down on a spoon rest, it would disappear before you reached for it again. Also, the spoon rest would be clean. It was hard to catch her in the act, and impossible to stop her.

On the up side, after she left, we could play “Where Would Idamarie Think That Should Go?” for weeks.

Anyway, now it’s me. We’re visiting, I’m the mother-in-law, and while I’m not wresting spatulas from anyone’s grip, I do keep putting things into cupboards. Surely the detergent goes here, the paper towels (“kitchen roll”) go here, the toilet paper (“loo roll”) goes here, and the bouillon cubes go in there!

They will think of me when I’m gone. I’m sure of it.

I can’t gauge how much being in a foreign land increases my incorrect instincts. I know, for instance that when we visit family in Nevada, we keep searching for non-existent recycling bins. And I believe the recycling drill differs everywhere, city to city, not just country to country.

Here, there are six options: a blue plasticized canvas bag for cardboard and brown paper, a black bin for glass, a green bin for clear plastic and tin cans, a tall yard debris bin, a small brown compost caddy (which, I am proud to say, I did NOT break when I was trying to figure out how to open it (in the rain in the dark of night)), and a black tub for garbage, including black plastic and, I think, very thin plastic film. I am unclear about what to do with thick blue plastic or white plastic. Also, paper. I had it down on our last visit, but I keep forgetting to ask.

I’ve done fairly well with plugging things in and then turning the plug on, something that is not needed at home, and I’ve succeeded in unlocking doors, a counter-intuitive series of moves including pulling up and pulling down. But – to be fair - I left a note and a key for a neighbor who offered to move packages into our house, if she saw any on the porch while we were away, and I have to admit that our front door lock at home isn’t exactly easy to understand either. Also, at our house, if you wash a dish while someone is showering, you still all their hot water, and you will hear yelps from the bathroom. So life can be tricky anywhere.

I’ve been flummoxed by a lot of drawers and closets and such, this visit, feeling around the edges, trying to find a lip. Maybe you push IN, and it unlatches? Minimalist design has much to answer for.

Airports, and airport security regulations, are a mystery (Do check in the day before you fly; Do grab a bin; Don’t take off your shoes; Do show your vaccination card; DO show your proof of a negative COVID test; Don’t show your proof of a negative COVID test – it’s in the system!; Do show you have scheduled a COVID test for the second day of your visit;  Keep your mask on at all times, or only if you are not seated, or only if you are not eating; Pull your mask down and show your face and your ID; Don’t show your vaccination card; Do show your vaccination card and your boarding pass and your passport; You may NOT check in the day before you fly, because you must see an agent who will review all of your paperwork…)  but I think a lot of procedures I used to understand have been changed for pandemic reasons.

And microwaves are an intelligence test everywhere, in anyone’s house. Every microwave is a law unto itself. You can’t go beating yourself up when a microwave defeats you.

What strikes me is how much of my life I can perform on auto-pilot, until I leave home and have to figure out a new methodology. It’s not that I’m enormously capable, just that I have done most things over and over. I’ve felt a jolt of empathy for my three-year-old host, who is constantly learning new things, day in and day out. It’s no wonder he takes a rest, most days. It’s tiring, having to process and puzzle stuff out all the time.