June 25, 2021: Mea Culpa, Heat PSA -

As everyone in the Pacific Northwest knows already, it is going up into the triple digits this weekend. And that is entirely my fault. I brought it down upon us.

Here’s how: we were in Las Vegas recently, visiting my mother in law, who moved there to escape the rain. She overshot, in my opinion. But regardless, it was in the triple digits while we were there: 108, 111, 113. And I said (not to her, but aloud) things like, “This place is trying to kill us,” and “People shouldn’t live here. It’s hostile to human life.” I was all PNW chauvinistic.

So, you know the karmic retribution that was just heading my way after that. Now it will be 108, 111, etc., in Portland, and - even though I haven’t lived there since I was 18 -  it’s going to be nearly as grim in Seattle.

My bad.

PSA: I only know a few tricks for the upcoming onslaught, but by way of attempting to mitigate something, I thought I should share.

Take showers. Don’t towel off. Lie around until you air dry. Evaporation is your friend.

I learned this one on a backstage tour in Ashland, where they actually sew pockets inside the big Elizabethan costumes that actors wear in the outdoor theater: Make little ice packs, a few tablespoons of water in a Ziploc bag, in the freezer. Rotate them (and freeze again). Tuck one into your shirt, or into your pants. (And yes, if you always thought I seemed like a person who had ice in her pants, you were right.)

Get your t-shirt soaking wet, wring it out, sit in front of a fan.

Make a bucket of cold water and stick your feet in it.

Basements can be good.

***Go to the movies.

Go to the grocery store. Walk every aisle, pondering. You don‘t have to buy anything.

Go to the hardware store, the mall, the big office supply stores. I went to Office Depot today (dumb move, should have waited a day or two). The very glum young clerk said she was working all weekend. I said this was a good weekend to be at Office Depot, and she said Yes, she had no AC at home. I told her I’d be back over the next few days, walking every aisle, buying nothing, keeping cool. She said she’d see me then. The prospect didn't seem to cheer her. 

If your library is open you might go to the library. (Midland is a Cooling Center this weekend.) If your library isn’t open,they might still be helping. I dropped by Belmont today to return a book in the book drop, and they were giving away free water. Bless them.

Just throw yourself on the mercy of friends who have air conditioning, if it comes to that.

May I point out that, a year ago, all the *** Tips following those three asterisks above were either impossible or unsafe? A year ago, it was, “Going to New Seasons to cool off, but thereby risking a case of COVID-19, is potentially as dangerous as staying home and getting heat stroke.” At least we are (most of us) past those days.